Only slightly less offensive crap
A Review of Pabst Blue Ribbon by Pabst Brewing Co.
Posted on 11/28/2011 by Chops
Whenever anyone defends Pabst Blue Ribbon, they always seem to blurt out the same hackneyed argument: ''It's the best of the crap beers.'' I honestly don't get the logic behind this assertion because it's essentially admitting that you willingly purchase and consume crap beer. What kind of argument is that? It's like saying you drive a Gremlin because it's better than a Yugo. It doesn't make any damn sense. Here's a thought: how about *not* driving a lemon?

And before people start saying PBR is cheap, it's convenient, it's this, it's that, it always helps to reference my previous review of Budweiser, which specifically deals with each one of these tired defenses:

Budweiser Review : Click Here

My first memorable experience with Pabst Blue Ribbon came when I was living in Seattle. One of my favorite nightclubs had a Friday special where they would sell PBR oil cans for $1 each. Let that sink in for a minute. That's 24 damn oz of PBR for a buck. If you apply even a little bit of logic, what does it tell you about the quality of PBR when a nightclub can afford to dump case after case of 24 oz oil cans for a dollar each, every damn week? Name a single quality brew that you could do the same with and I will stop right here and eat my words. One. Just one. So there I was, week after week, watching crowds of people stroll around with PBR oil cans in hand. I would watch people in $100 shirts, $100 pants, $100 shoes and $100 haircuts walking around with $1 PBR oil cans. It was such a surreal experience. I can think of no better example of ''screw flavor, screw quality, I just want to get drunk as quickly and as cheaply as possible.'' It was just, well, sad.

Seriously, ask yourself the question. You have $4. Would you like one high quality, full-bodied, full-flavored craft brew... or 96 oz of Pabst Blue Ribbon?

So now I find myself staring at a Pabst Blue Ribbon booth at the 2011 World Beer Festival in Durham, NC. Few things look more out of place than a giant PBR blow up can at a craft beer festival. I've only had a handful of PBRs in my life (one being a 24 oz oil can for $1), and every one tasted like standard big beer swill. But as a brew enthusiast, I am obligated to give this beer one last fighting chance before writing a review. So I sucked it up and drank a little PBR at a craft brew festival. Sigh, not my finest moment.

In all honesty, it's exactly what everyone says. It's the king of shit. Every aspect is a point or two higher than mass produced garbage. It's slightly darker than a diluted urine color. It's slightly less metallic smelling. It's slightly less offensive to my taste buds than rusty tap water. Its mouthfeel is slightly less bland and watery. That's pretty much it. It's a slightly less offensive version of Budweiser, Coors or Miller. But make no mistake about it, PBR is still shit beer.

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Pabst Blue Ribbon by Pabst Brewing Co.
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