Lies, lies, and even more lies
A Review of Redbridge by Anheuser-Busch
So if you have been reading any of our reviews lately, you already know that my co-founder and I recently invaded the World Beer Fest in Durham, NC. We spent hours, and hours...and...hours sampling as many beers as we could get our hands on. While we managed to argue over a few beers and their quality level, characteristics, flavors, and so on, there was one beer that I got to be the hero on. I took it for the team. I knew that someone had to do it. It could only be me. I saw it along with its description, and thought to myself ''You...have...got...to...be...kidding'', but unfortunately they were not. Anheuser-Busch decided that all beer lovers at the World Beer Fest should have the opportunity to see what garbage beer really is. At least, that is what I took from it when I sampled Redbridge.
I pulled this from the ''About Redbridge'' section of their website in hopes to show you how clever marketing can both lie and tell you the truth in the same paragraph:
''Redbridge beer doesn't need to make promises to stand out from the crowd; its very essence sets it apart. Redbridge is made without wheat or barley, so the approximately 3.2 million consumers who are unable to drink beer made with barley due to Celiac Disease or because they follow a wheat-free or gluten-free diet can once again enjoy a great tasting beer. Redbridge is a rich, full-bodied lager brewed from sorghum for a well-balanced, moderately hopped taste.''
Lets jump right in and rip this apart piece by piece shall we? First off they state:
''Redbridge beer doesn't need to make promises to stand out from the crowd; its very essence sets it apart.''
Guess what? If by essence they actually meant ''This is the closest that we can come to not making a beer, yet legally still be able to call it a beer'', then they told the absolute truth. But actually, at its core, this statement is true. It has a way of setting itself apart alright. A quick thought. If you have to state that you are different or that you stand out, odds are you aren't and don't. And even in those rare instances where you are different, it doesn't always translate to different in a good way.
Next they hit you with the sympathy blow:
''Redbridge is made without wheat or barley, so the approximately 3.2 million consumers who are unable to drink beer made with barley due to Celiac Disease or because they follow a wheat-free or gluten-free diet can once again enjoy a great tasting beer.''
First off, I do truly feel sorry for people who suffer from Celiac Disease. Please know that any of my attacks on this assault deserving beer are in no way aimed at those who suffer from it. But doesn't it make you glad that the fine folks at Anheuser-Busch have heard your pleas and decided to swoop in and save the day for you? There is something deep down inside me that can't help but ask if this abomination of a beer could, in some ''small'' way be an attempt to ride the current ''gluten-free'' diet craze that thousands who don't suffer from Celiac Disease have decided to follow anyway? I'm willing to bet my entire stash of hard to find beers that Anheuser-Busch couldn't give two drunken half flips if you suffer from any kind of disease, including liver disease, as long as they can somehow get one of their feeble attempts at a creation akin to beer in your hand. So the first half of this statement is true. They claim that the beer is made without wheat or barley. I can't argue that. But the last part of it? Especially the ''great tasting beer'' part? False. Completely.
And finally, they give you a description of their creation, and this is where yours truly really gets to unload:
''Redbridge is a rich, full-bodied lager brewed from sorghum for a well-balanced, moderately hopped taste.''
Ok Anheuser-Busch. Welcome to the world of BrewChief.com. This is where the gloves come off and the hard and painful truth are allowed to hit you right in your face with no apologies. And the truth is, your last statement, with the exception of ''brewed from sorghum'', is a full blown lie.
Well-balanced? Hardly. Why? You can't be balanced without actually having layers. In order to have layers, there has to be distinct flavors. Guess what? There was not one real beer flavor in this swill that was clear or distinguishable. I picked up some kind of watered down grain flavor. Far from impressive or even pleasant. And at times, someone could possibly pick out a weak maple syrup that had been watered down taste as well. At one point I even got the feeling that I was drinking week old movie theater popcorn that had a lot of butter on it. Not once did I get even the hint of any hops, let alone a ''moderately hopped taste''.
What about ''rich'' and ''full bodied''? I dare any representative from Anheuser-Busch to look me in the eyes with a straight face and tell me that this beer is either one of those two, let alone both. Rich? Seriously? You cannot be rich without having a flavor that can support that characteristic. And seeing how there is no real flavor in your lie, your lie cannot be rich. What about ''full bodied''? If I said that I had drank glasses of water with more body in them, most of you would call me the liar. Now if I said that I had drank tonic water with more body, you might still call me a liar, but you would be incorrect. Maybe the fine folks at Anheuser-Busch have confused ''overly carbonated'' with ''full bodied''. There was plenty of that in there. I can only assume it is an attempt to keep it crisp and refreshing. But wait, Redbridge is deemed ''rich'' and ''full bodied''. Hmmm. Seems as though the problems in this one just keep on coming.
When it is all said and done, this offering is nothing short of garbage. I cannot express enough my true disgust of it. There is truly no reason why anyone should ever give this lousy excuse for a beer the slightest consideration. If you are one of those people who have to follow a gluten/wheat free diet for true health reasons, avoid this at all costs and go with one of the other gluten-free offerings on the market, or better yet go with liquor. Most all liquor is gluten free due to the gluten protein being removed during the distillation process anyway. And if you are simply drinking gluten free beer because you are being gluten free trendy, stop being stupid. Seriously. Get real beer and drink it. People who have a real health reason to consume gluten free products should be allowed to kick you in the face if you are physically able to have the real stuff and choose not to. See? BrewChief is educational as well. We are really here to help. Anheuser-Busch on the other hand? All they are concerned with is jumping on yet another health fad wave, and helping your hard earned money out of your wallet and into theirs. Kinda makes you wonder where there ''Zero Trans-Fat'' offering is doesn't it? Shame on you Anheuser-Busch. Shame.