My Apologies to the Italians
A Review of Birra Moretti Premium Lager by Birra Moretti (Heineken)
Posted on 3/12/2012 by Brew's Your Daddy
                   
Bad
So there I was, staring into my beer fridge, gazing at countless choices to do a review on. I saw everything from stouts to IPAs, and damn near everything in between. After several minutes of debate, and no definitive conclusion being drawn, I decided to do what any respectable reviewer would do. I closed my eyes, moved my hand all over the place, and grabbed one. The selection that ended up in my hand? The Birra Moretti Premium Lager.

As far as appearance goes, this one is an amazingly pale straw coloration, and has a minimal bright white head that has little retention quality. Getting your nose in the glass offers little in the aroma department, aside from an initial slap in the nostrils of what we all have grown to know as ''skunky beer smell''. I checked the best by date on the bottle, and it was still good. Doing a little investigating allowed me to discover that Birra Moretti is owned by Heineken, and if you know what one of those smells like, you kind of know what this smells like. If you want to dig in deep, you can pick up on some grain and grass aromas, but nothing to detailed or distinct.

When you take the first sip of it, you are about as impressed as when you smelled it, meaning not impressed at all. I won't go as far as to say it is disgusting, but it is pretty bland. There is a basic grain flavor to it that doesn't fall into any rich or malty category, and it is only broken up by a slight bit of a citrus tinge that never really achieves much past the ''noticeable'' range. The mouthfeel is high in carbonation, with just a bit of stickiness to it, and overall there isn't much of an aftertaste at all. If anything, the basic grain flavor sticks around a bit past the unwelcome point.

While some of my favorite foods fall into the category of ''Italian'', I don't know that I can name one beer that does. If it weren't for a few other experiences with beers from this region of the world, I would want to try to pawn this one off as a casualty of Heineken bastardization. Unfortunately, I can't say that with 100% certainty. What I can say is that you won't find me willingly partaking of the Birra Moretti Premium Lager anytime in the future, and I don't think that anyone will be missing much if they pass it up either. While I might slap a nun twice for some risotto with saffron, I wouldn't drink this one again if a nun offered it to me in a goblet made of gold. Odds are I'd just pour it out and make a run for it with the goblet.

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Birra Moretti Premium Lager by Birra Moretti (Heineken)
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